The ultimate list of ultimate destiny.

I worked at Anthropologie at the Mall at Millenia in 2003. It was the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college and I was pretty convinced that I wanted to be a doctor. The job was certainly not something I'd look back on as a transformational experience (although the discount rocked), but I got some advice that summer that's stuck with me for almost 7 years.

"Don't lose yourself."

Let me explain further. I was working the cash wrap and rang up a woman in surgical scrubs, so I asked her if she was a doctor - she was. We got to chatting and she told me what she thought of medical school and how she got through alive. The aforementioned quote managed to lodge itself in my brain because it seemed kinda melodramatic at the time.

But damn if she wasn't right!

It's really easy to get caught up in the competitive fervor when you're in professional school or any other high-stress environment. I definitely did and crashed and burned HARD.

In honor of the new year, here's a list of the cool things I've done since January 1st that made me feel human again:

1. Spent New Year's Day playing games with some of my best friends.

2. Milked a newborn human baby boy and subsequently decided that I hate general peds.

3. Busted out my saxophone and pretended I still can wail.

4. Decided on a specialty after a few well-timed words from my mentor.

5. Gone to several ass-kicking pilates classes.

6. Started gathering applications for externships at ultra-competitive psychiatry programs at Stanford, UCSD, Northwestern and Harvard.

7. Got a new tattoo, which isn't done.

8. Started this blog.

I don't have a good reason for writing this stuff down, per se. Listing the fun things that I've done lately doesn't make me feel any more accomplished or alleviate the stress. It's just proof that I did it and that's good enough at this juncture.

In other news, general pediatrics is a real bummer because there aren't many funny patients to write about. My blog is turning in to a sappy coming-of-age story about the little medical student that finds herself through tough love and new ink.

Speaking of which! The new tattoo is an angel wing that's not quite finished. It's got some personal meaning... most of which is in memory of my Catholic grandma who was scared of not getting to heaven. If she didn't make it, none of us will.